Remember that game "Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral"? When you think about it, the game has about as much entertainment value as the average biscuit, but there are some spin offs that are pretty good. There's "Date, F---, or Kill," or the more PG-rated version "Marry, Date, or Dump." In these games, you name three people, and then the other player has to choose which they would date, which they would f---, and which they'd beat into a pulp with a sledgehammer. And of course, when you're playing these games, the key is to force your best friend to choose between three Epitomies of Hottness so you can say, "Dude, you just killed Johnny Depp!" or, even better, three gnarly, nasty types so you can say, "Dude, you just slept with George W. Bush! Eeeew! I just threw up in my mouth."
But now, I'd like to play "Vampire, Werewolf, or Zombie." We've talked a little about the vampire versus werewolf thing before, and how Aragorn's scruff makes him a natural werewolf type, whereas Legolas is the vampire. And Batman is just confused. So we've laid the groundwork. But here's how the game goes: I name three famous people, and one of them is a vampire, one a werewolf, and one a zombie. How do I know this? I have informants. I know people. My people know people.
And then I make it all up.
So... tell me what you think. Your choices are...
Tom Cruise, Couch Jumper Extraordinaire
Jake Ryan, 80s Film Hottie
And Pee Wee Herman, who my cousin once had a crush on. I still don't understand that.
Let me know in the comments: Who's the vampire, werewolf, and zombie? I've got my own theories, but I want to hear yours.