I can't believe it's been so long since I did one of these entries. Christy deserves a big shout out and one of those badges that I don't know how to design for reminding me about it. Yay, Christy!
Anyway, for you newbies out there, the premise is simple. I'm giving you things to think about in the event that you become famous, because there are certain standards of famousity that we must uphold. Previously, we've come up with pithy answers to interview questions, talked about the need for people and planned our celebrations. So there's your update.
Today, we're going to talk about unreasonable requests. Every celebrity needs to make unreasonable requests, particularly when they travel, because otherwise people might not realize that this person is a celebrity and then the world will implode. And let me tell you something: world implosion is bad. No, really. So it's important to have some unreasonable requests prepared in advance just in case fifteen minutes of fame pounce at you all of a sudden, kind of like a puppy. Or a mugger. Take your pick; my imagery is your imagery.
So what are some good unreasonable requests? I'm thinking those completely random things like: I want a bowl of M&Ms in my room, but I only want the blue ones. I seem to remember some celebrity asking for this but can't figure out who it is. Whoever they are, they're not allowed to come to my house, because the blue M&Ms are MINE.
I figure that's as good an excuse as any.
So my unreasonable request is simple: when I get off an airplane, I want a limo to be waiting for me. And I want my limo driver to be dressed like zombie Richard Simmons. I want him (or her... because I'm equal opportunity Richard Simmons zombification) to lurch while carrying my bags. Performance of zombie pushups, complete with loud and reverberating "UUUUUUHHhh!" sounds are bonus points that will result in a big tip from me.
There are a few reasons for this. 1) I'm on a Richard Simmons kick lately. 2) It would make it really easy to pick my driver out of a crowd. No looking around for those stupid placards with your name on them. And then when you find the placard, it doesn't matter how simple your name is, they still manage to spell it wrong. And let's face it, 'Harris' ain't tough, but it's happened to me on business trips. And 3) it's freaking hilarious.
So that's my unreasonable request. And I derive lots of amusement from picturing the limo driver's face at the moment that he hears about this.
"She wants me to dress up as WHAT?!?!"