I have no real idea what to write about today, so you know what that means: lots of WTF moments for you as you wonder what the heck I'm talking about.
My husband used to butt dial me all the time before he got a new phone. I don't know why, but the other day I was thinking that I really should write something about Butt Dialing Through the Centuries, because it's a little known phenomenon that was highly influential nonetheless. The butt dial telegraph alone was responsible for a lot of serious miscommunication and severe buttock malformations, not to mention the phrase "Is that a telegraph in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" And don't get me started on the butt dial rotary phone.
I saw a Snuggie for dogs at the store last night. Now, your dog can be a total social misfit just like you! I am waiting for them to come out with the WTF Blanket for Fish. If they make it, I promise to buy one. And my zombie penguin is in serious need of a WTF blanket. I think it's prejudicial to leave these traditionally underrepresented groups out of the WTF Blanket phenomenon. They too should have the opportunity to look like complete tards.
The other day, I gave myself a facial, so I was running around the house with this freaky looking clear goop on my face. I love this stuff, mostly because once it's dry, I get to rip my face off like the aliens in the old school version of V. (Anyone watching the new one?) Anyway, I sat down on the couch, waiting for my face to dry so I could rip it off and make funny alien noises into the mirror, and my daughter came up to me. She said, "Mommy, you are a beautiful zombie." And I was very flattered.
Only at my house.