Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Year of Give Backery - June Contest!

Hello! Nice to see you! Well, not "see" you exactly, because that would imply that I'd hacked your computer and was watching you through your webcam. And that would be creepy, right? Unless I was a sparkly vampire and you were a klutzy teenager with a latent deathwish, in which case it would be KEWL.

Anyway. For all you new people (Hi again! I was kidding about the webcam thing, 'kay?), I'd like to tell you about the Year of Give Backery. See, last year was very good for me. Sold first book, blazingly happy in general...essentially I've become one of those really annoying happy people. Sometimes I have to resist the urge to punch myself.

But in an effort to spread the love, I started running a contest each month. Yay contest! I kinda missed May, so this month I'll be giving out TWO prezzies. Whee!

What do you need to do? Simplemente. We're making up pretend sequel titles, and the sillier the better. For example, there's the little-known sequel to THIRTEEN REASONS WHY: Another Tearjerker That Will Destroy the Rainforests but Raise Kleenex Stock. Tell me the book you're sequeling and the sequel title. Leave it in the comments. Go you!

The contest will close Sunday, June 6th at noon EST, and I'll post the winners on Monday. I'll give one prize away to the person who makes me laugh the hardest. The other prize will be TOTALLY RANDOM. Feel free to enter as many titles as you want.

So what's the prize? I'm giving away an hour of my time to each lucky winner. In an hour, I can do a lot of different things, like:
  • Critique 10 pages of your WIP.
  • Go through two rounds of revisions on a query letter.
  • Brainstorm with you on a new project.
  • Talk to you about having a writing career.
  • Send you 50 weird YouTube videos.
  • Discuss zombocalypse survival methods.
  • SOMETHING ELSE OF YOUR CHOOSING (subject to approval, of course, because I don't feel like getting arrested).

Have I forgotten anything rulesy? Let me know. Otherwise, get cracking with those little-known sequels!


Kelly Polark said...

Sequel to Mockingjay: Peeta Gets Pissed
(because he's too nice, he needs to let off some steam)

Jamie Eyberg said...

Eating Fried worms is kidstuff, bring on the goat testicles. (sequel to how to eat fried worms). We have to make it edgier for today's market.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the modern sequel to Gone With The Wind! Let's all read "Gone With The Wind, Rain, Flood, Earthquake, Oil Spill, H1N1, and Zombie Apocalypse: A Children's Primer."


Lisa Aldin said...

You may not know this, but there is a very obscure sequel to The Hunger Games (before Catching Fire caught on fire, of course, overshadowing it).

The title?

"The I'm Totally Stuffed Now Games Because Food Is Falling from the Sky. We're all SAVED! Wait. Please Do Still Buy This Book. I Know I Just Gave Away the Ending in the Title, but Seriously. Buy It. Thanks!"

Lisa Aldin said...

Also, a title for the sequel to Stephanie Myer's The Host.


Ready for it?


CKHB said...

This is not an official entry because (1) I'm already won something from you and don't want to take someone's else spot, and (2) I came up with this idea in response to a Twitter post about sequels... two days before I read the same joke in a book, which means that the published author really came up with it first, so I don't want to take full credit, even though I'm not plagiarizing.

Okay. Here's my pretend sequel title, with zombies:


Marsha Sigman said...

Sequel to The Body Finder.

The Shoe Minder.

Someone has been stealing shoes at the local bowling alley and Jay is hired on to keep watch and discover the thief as...the shoe minder.

Carolyn V. said...

The Forest of Chicken Legs and Wings. It will just make you hungry. =D

Myrna Foster said...

You can keep a secret, right? The sequel to Ella Enchanted started out as Dwarf Demented. *winky winky*

Stephanie McGee said...

Stay tuned for the riveting sequel to Jane Austen's beloved "Sense and Sensibility." This newly discovered manuscript, written in Ms. Austen's own hand carries the title "Sense and Senility." Follow along on the continuing adventures of Elinor and Maryanne. Having led lives of comfort and ease since their respective marriages the two sisters reunite upon the marriages of their youngest children. But neither can recall exactly what has brought them together at this late juncture in life.

A riveting tale sure to thrill and delight all Austen fans.

Kelly Polark said...

Sequel to Shiver and Linger:

Grace can't believe all the hair that Sam gets on her quilt, on the carpet every day, even in her food. She has to vacuum thrice daily!

Kelly Polark said...

Sequel to Fallen

An tale of Luce in her golden years

Fallen and I Can't Get Up

Tiny T said...

Bad Taste in Boys sequel: Rotten Taste in Zombies :)


Once Dead, Twice Shy sequel: Once Dead, Always Dead, Unless You Are a Zombie.

Tiny T said...

If there was a book called Sparkle, the sequel should be Sparkle, Sparkle. Then the trilogy would be Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle. :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

City of Gristle. Sometimes you need to sink your teeth in.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Lonely Werewolf Hurl (sequel to Lonely Werewolf Girl). Kalix kicks her laudanum habit and embraces the wolfy tradition of regurgitation.

Larissa said...

Hahaha! These are funny.

Hopefully I'll win the random draw. The only thing I can come up with is actually a prequel. The prequel to Hamlet: PIGLET. (Get it? Before it's ham, it's a pig?) I'm not going to go sequel of Hamlet, because that would be gross.

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

Sequel to Eat, Pray, Love

Fart, Shit, Sleep

Well it's true in my house anyway!

Red Boot Pearl said...

'The Selfish Stump', sequel to 'The Giving Tree'

Anonymous said...

Tuesdays with Morrie.
Sequel: Wednesday with a Dead Guy.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
Sequel: One Splintery, Bloody Mess.

Rarely do people realize that all of these are part of the same series -

- Animal Farm
- Slaughter House V
- Dinner with a Perfect Stranger
- Everybody Poops

I was going to come up with something for Vonnegut's Deadeye Dick involving an eye being poked with, something, but I'll leave that be.