Way back in the day, I decided that if I became famous, I was going to hire a soundtrack guy. Soundtrack guy would follow me around in an outfit covered in speakers and play music suitable for the situation. (The old version of soundtrack guy had him carrying an orchestra on his hat, but I tossed that idea out because sometimes I expect to be in situations that would require some rock and roll. [And because he might have a hard time fitting through doors that way.])
Soundtrack guy? You're fired.
I'd much rather have Movie Voice Guy follow me around, reciting appropriate music lyrics. For example, if I went out to a club, Movie Voice Guy would announce:
I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY FOR THIS JELLY.
I. Don't. Think. You're. Ready.
And then we'd probably get thrown out, but it would be worth it.
Oh! Oh! It would be even better if we went to our local high school football game so I could hang with the cheerleaders, and then I could climb on top of the cheerleader pyramid and shake some pompons, and then someone would hand me a really cute baby, and then I'd talk nonsense at it while Movie Voice Guy recited Lady Gaga for the onlookers:
Rah rah ah ah ah
Rama rah rah rah
Gaga OOOH! La la!
I'm so glad Lady Gaga wrote that song. Because you know, the whole baby on top of a pyramid thing happens to me all the time.
Really, I just need to hire this guy:
LOL...I don't know what to say, just wow!
Carrie you always have me laughing!!!! I think I need to invest in Movie Voice Guy, would it be okay if I steal him away? Because like you the baby incident happens to me more often than not.
I just want Hans Zimmer or John Williams to walk around behind me playing the score to my life.
Come on, you don't think JK Rowling walks around her London townhouse in a robe made of hundred pound notes humming the score to Harry Potter?
I would if I were her.
I want a movie voice guy!!
"In a world where queens rule behind laptop thrones........."
Ha ha ha. Girl, you are priceless! :-)
My new goal in life is to hire a Movie Voice Guy.
K.M's sister here.
she's always going on about how she loves you, your sense of humor, your writing blah, blah, blah....
now i see why...ms. carrie...you are one funny broad.
movie voice guy....HI-larious :)
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