And the subject of the roast? It's him.
The only way this could possibly get better is if they roasted Richard Simmons. But I'm quite happy with the Hoff. So anyway, I'm tossing around the idea of throwing a Hoff Roast party. But that didn't seem strange enough, so then my frequent anonymous poster (you need to pick a nickname, dude, or I'm going to give you one) sends me instructions on how to make a bacon torte and says something like, "I'd really like it if you dropped everything to make me this."
And a lightbulb went off over my head! It was like the heavens opened up, and a beam of bacon-scented light came down, and lo, it was beautiful. I knew my destiny at that moment. And my destiny is to throw a Hoff Roast/Bacon Party.
So now I'm looking around at bacon products. And I ran across the Bacon Bra. Have you heard of this? You slap raw bacon all over your bits (get it? BITS?) and then sit out in the hot sun to cook it.
I'm kind of speechless at that one. But I've actually worn a chain mail bikini, and I can't say for sure which is worse. I CAN say that I'll be wearing normal clothes at that party, though.
What's the strangest party you've ever been to?