Carrie Harris | Young Adult Author

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

No-Stalgia

Nostalgia should be my middle name. Of course, that's only because Amusing Anecdotes is too long, but still. I'm all about the nostalgia. One of my favorite things to do is sit around and tell funny stories at my own expense. The main reason for this is that I know I won't hit me. I hang around with a bunch of ninjas, you know. If I tell stories at THEIR expense, I may not live to enjoy the rousing laughter of my audience.

But then, every once in a while when I'm telling amusing anecdotes, someone messes with my mojo. They bring up one of those stories that I'd rather not remember. And that's not nostalgia. It's NO-stalgia.

Case in point: We got together with a bunch of friends the weekend before last. And one of the people who was there is... yeesh, I don't know what to call him. He's my godmother's husband, so I guess that makes him my god-dad-in-law. Let's call him G-Dil for short. Which sounds like one of those weenie rap guy names and will probably get me pounded, because G-Dil is a crazy good ninja, but I'm all about sacrificing body parts on the altar of humor. Anyway, we were all sitting around when G-Dil brought up that wilderness rescue course that I took.

Summary of this NO-stalgic anecdote: G-Dil was one of the instructors. There was a rapelling section of the course, where you're supposed to save an imaginary patient who has fallen of a cliff. I fell off the cliff.

Whoopsie.

Yeah, so he brings that up, and it absolutely is snarfworthy, but in one of those NO-stalgic kinds of ways, because it resulted in my having knee surgery on Slayer's birthday. (Instead of singing "Happy Birthday" to him, I think I said something like: "UUUuuunhhh.")

So I retaliated by bringing up the later part of the course, where you're supposed to manufacture a traction splint out of a big laundry basket full of junk. It was THE coolest exercise ever. Unfortunately, I couldn't get around very well because I had a leg brace on. And... er... I ended up planting my foot square in G-Dil's crotch.

Hey, I needed leverage. He didn't bleed out, and that's what's important.

So I think that the moral of this story is not to pull that NO-stalgic thing on me, because I will pulverize your wiggly bits in retaliation.

13 comments:

Vivi Alden said...

Ha! Thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to keep my wiggly bits out of bionic leg range when bringing up cringe-worthy stories.

So...ummm...just for my own peace of mind, are you actively doing wilderness rescues? Just curious. Might postpone that camping/hiking trip. You know, just until you work all the kinks out.

PJ Hoover said...

Oooh, but it's so funny! So did they make a splint for you?

beth said...

HAHAHA!

Mary Witzl said...

Good for you for surviving that! I have to say, if it were me, I'd be proud. Not everyone gets injured when they're rappelling. Not everyone can SPELL rappelling either.

Shelli said...

ha! you are hilarious

Natalie L. Sin said...

*LOL*
WHy did you have to make a leg splint? Weren't you already wearing one?

K.C. Shaw said...

I thought ninjas had unbruiseable wiggly bits. Hmm, I learn something new on your blog every day. :)

Carrie Harris said...

Vivi: Hmmm... I'm not sure how to answer that. I'm not doing one right now, because my computer is not in the wilderness. However, I've totally got your back if you go hiking.

PJ: Actually, the person who was hosting it had a spare leg brace from her knee injury. Which was not acquired in relation to any cliffs, I might add.

Beth: Thank you for laughing at me. ;)

Mary: Yes, it takes a special kind of skill to fall off a cliff. I've got to admit it.

Shelli: Thank you. I have my moments. :)

Natalie: Actually, this was a part of the course. You had to put a splint on one of the "patients." So it was kind of like the blind leading the blind, only in this case is was the splinted splinting the... er... unsplinted?

KC: See? I'm a public service.

Mariah Irvin said...

So what does "UUUuuunhhh" mean in zombie? Wait...I have a pretty good imagination.

K. M. Walton said...

Funny, funny, funny. And more funny. Your stories kill me every single time.

Lady Glamis said...

Wiggly bits! Your the only other person I know who has used that phrase besides one other friend. That and jiggly bits. Gotta love that phrase, too. :)

LauraBlue said...

lmao G-Dil. Oh, Carrie, whatever will you think of next?

Carrie Harris said...

Mariah: Yeah? I'd love to hear your ideas. I'm putting together a zombie dictionary, you know. :)

KM: Yes, but do they resurrect you later? That's kind of important.

Glamis: I guess that's just one of the things that makes me unique?

Laura: Um... you really want me to answer that? Snarf.

 


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