Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Summon Frank!

Anyone else out there have a favorite Aztec god, or is it just me?

It probably doesn't surprise anyone to hear that I'm a longtime player of role playing games. Don't believe me? Look, I'm on Amazon! Um... yeah. I admit that on occasion I'll look myself up on Amazon every once in a while just so I can squee a little and say things like, "Look! I'm on Amazon!" in pseudo-casual tones.

This really is relevant to the Aztec thing. I swear.

Anyway, one of my favorite things to do on a Saturday night is get together and go pretend vampire hunting, or pretend to go vampire hunting, or pretend pretendishly to hunt pretendesque vampires. (Trying to make the point that I know this whole hunting of vampires thing isn't real. Is it coming through?) A large part of being a good gamer, other than the ability to act and the mental prowess to realize, as noted above, that none of it is real for god's sake, is problem solving. Your character has been backed into the corner of the baby pool, and the evil merpire is trying to suck out her blood. What do you do?

I always yelled the name of my favorite Aztec god. Frank.

You heard me right. His real name is Huitzilopochtli, which I think is tremendously fun to say. In general, I'm not a fan of the Aztecs because I have this thing about human sacrifice, but you've got to give them at least a little credit in the cool name department. Huitzilopochtli is a freaking cool name. So every time the merpires or werewolves or mutant guinea pigs would attack our characters, I would yell, "I summon Huitzilopochtli! Everybody dies!"

I'm quite sure that everyone loved me for it.

My boyfriend at the time couldn't pronounce Huitzilopochtli, and I teased him about that mercilessly. So he came up with the nickname Frank. And it stuck. I am fairly sure that this is a step in the wrong direction, unless one is filling out one of those automated test sheets with all the bubbles on them, in which case the name Huitzilopochtli is pure and unadulterated torture.

Our computer won't run any games. Or videos. Or anything remotely fun. So I'm thinking about renaming it Huitzilopochtli. The Frumious Bandersnatch apparently isn't evil enough.

In other news, I forgot to mention yesterday that Fabulous Agent Kate, otherwise known as FabAKa, has a snazzy new website! It even has a bio of yours truly, which is cool because now I have somewhere else to visit online when I want to squee.


Unknown said...

HAHAHA!!! And wow--You're on Amazon! Totally squee-worthy!

Jamie Eyberg said...

it is nice to be on Amazon. Tell Frank 'hi' for me.

Scillius Maximus said...

I think Ramrod - (The Holy Toaster) - could kick Frank's ass.

Heck I think the BEAST might even be able to take Frank out with his "Death by Frustration from Trying to Get Me to Boot" technique.

Just an opinion mind you.

Kiersten White said...

I am totally coveting your little bios on Kate's site. How cool and official does that make you?

Cate Gardner said...

You've been nominated for an award...


Mariah Irvin said...

I like your bio.

Wow, that sounded like that weird deodorant commercial where they say "I want your bod".

I have no clue how I randomly associated those two things, but it's a little embarrassing.

Suzanne Casamento said...

Huitzilopochtli. Now that's a name.

And the new kt literary website rocks, doesn't it? I love your evil fighting bio.

Fox Lee said...

I would summon Super Junior. True, they aren't deities, but they are very distracting.

Carrie Harris said...

Beth: I owe it all to Frank, really. Frank and Ramrod the toaster.

Jamie: Frank says "Nom nom nom" back. I think it's supposed to be a zombie impersonation, or maybe he was talking with his mouth full.

Scillius: Ramrod wouldn't kick Frank's ass; he'd toast it to a nice golden brown.

Kiersten: VERY cool and official, of course. :)

Cate: WOO HOO! I got an award! I'm kewl now!

Mariah: The funniest part is that I completely follow your logic there.

Suzanne: Isn't it? It would be a good name for a pet, I think. And yes, we have a KEWL agency website. GO US.

Natalie: I am almost afraid to ask: who or what is Super Junior?

Fox Lee said...

As there is no way to fully explain the pure, untainted wonder that is Super Junior, please enjoy this music video.


And no, those aren't back-up dancers. There are thirteen young men in Super Junior: Proof that the Universe is both benevolent and achingly beautiful.

Whirlochre said...

I always liked the sound of Tezcatlipoca.

PJ Hoover said...

I totally love you for it! And yes, that blood sacrifice is something, isn't it.

Vikki said...

I love your bio on KT's new website. Did you seriously sit at a dinner table once with Tom Robbins? Cuz...I might have to be really jealous of you for a while. Jitterbug Perfume is one of my all time favorite books ever!

Ray Veen said...

I checked out your bio on that site, and am subsequently doubly, nay -- triply! -- impressed by your inherent coolness.

Here's my 'squee' thingy.

sruble said...

Frank, website, amazon :)

BTW, what did you mean by, "I know this whole hunting of vampires thing isn't real."

It's real. Very, very real.

Oh yeah, and the word verification is snarf-worthy. It's "oventird." I'm just sayin'.