Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Fear the Frisky Trucker

My brain is mush.

We spent the weekend driving back and forth to see my mom. There's a certain amount of mass chaos inherent in traveling with young children, but not quite as much as there is in traveling with my best friend. For some reason, whenever I get into a car with her, I suddenly lose my ability to speak AND my ability to tell the left from the right. Which means that she'll be driving, and I'll point out the left window and go, "Uuunh!"

That means "turn right." Obviously.

The saddest part of this story is that I'm not making it up.

And then, there was the trip that we took to Mexico. We went to a beach party and ended up getting frisked by the cops. I did, anyway. Her dress was so skimpy that there was no way she could hide anything in it.

There was also the time that we were followed for about 50 miles by a frisky trucker because she dared me to lick my soda bottle, and he saw it. The worst part about that episode is that I really needed a bathroom break, but we couldn't stop for fear of the frisky trucker.

Fear the frisky trucker. That's my travel motto. What's yours?


Jamie Eyberg said...

Every road will take you somewhere, even if it isn't where you want to go.

Unknown said...

Always drive as fast as the car behind you...

My Best Friends said this once while she was telling me her theory on speeding. Granted I KNOW she meant the car in front of you...it's more fun to mock her :)

Larissa said...

Ooh! Fear the Frisky Trucker is FANTASTIC advice for me, since I am driving down to the SCBWI FL conference on Thursday.

Thanks for the tip (and laugh)!

ann foxlee said...

Heh. Love it.

Mine is:
Make friends with the locals. You'll eat better.

Umm. Food is important to me, ok?

Elana Johnson said...

Bring snacks and headphones. That's my motto. Otherwise, you'll go insane.

Candice said...

I once took a trip home to AZ in August with some friends. The temperature was 115-120 and my friends truck didn't have air. We left early in the morning and he got pulled over by the border patrol for driving across the desert in a beater with stuff piled to the ceiling. When the afternoon rolled around we bought spray bottles and rolled down the windows. Then we sprayed ourselves in the faces and let the wind cool us off for the twelve hour drive. We also almost ran out of gas, went about hour off course, and didn't get pulled over though my friend was going 110 mph. The cop pulled the guy next to us over. After that trip my motto was never drive through Arizona in August in a beater with no air conditioning and with a driver who goes 110. I'm happy to say that I've stuck to my motto ever since.

Mariah Irvin said...

Don't dance to Womanizer in the car unless you want the guys in the SUV next to you to flash you.


Fox Lee said...

I don't know if I have a motto, but I am quite fond of gas station sandwiches!

Carolyn V. said...

Wow, I'm afraid of the frisky driver (and I haven't even met him). I have no travel motto. I'll have to make one up now. =)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

When traveling with children, NEVER forget to bring the DVD player! :-)

Anonymous said...

-Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.

-Move, f-er! (or grandma, Aunt B, sweet heart, etc.)

-It's an on ramp, not a f-n' school zone!

-You KNOW you don't belong in this lane, MOVE over!

The thing is, I drive a lot for my job (some times 300+ miles a day), and 95% of the time I couldn't care less how people drive. On MY own time though, I politely ask people to pay attention, understand and abide by the rules of the road, and stay in the right lane if they don't want to exceed the speed limit. It kind of sounds different when I say it, though.

"I suddenly lose... my ability to tell the left from the right."

Wow, you gave birth to them and you forget which one's which? ::buh-dum, tch::

Jonathon Arntson said...

Mile 136: "Anyone need to pee?"
Mile 138: "I gotta pee."

masonian said...

My motto?

You can laugh all you want at those kitschy t-shirts emblazoned with lightning framed American flags and lightning streaked wolves howling at the moon while in the trucker mart, but remember that some people wear them without irony.

I wish everything I did was lightning streaked.