Friday, June 4, 2010

5 Wishes

Universe, I don't want much out of life. Just five little things:
  1. I admit that I have a lot of fun putting on my facial glop and then peeling it off like one of those aliens from V. And yes, I make crazy alien noises when I do it, and yes, my kids scream, "Mommy's weird!" That does NOT mean that I would like to have my face peeling off from sunburn for my author photos next week.
  2. Good news is awesome! I love good news! However, if you're going to give me random happy things and not let me show them to anyone, I start going all wonky in the head. I need more patience, or even better, I'll just take carte blanche to say whatever I want.
  3. Can you make me rich so I can hire a lackey to blow into my laptop? It's the only way to keep it from overheating. (Yes, I realize if I was rich I could just buy a new laptop, but I'd rather have a lackey laptop blower. Wouldn't you?)
  4. It would be even kewler if Richard Simmons were my laptop blower. I'm just sayin.
  5. Oh, and if I could have a few more entries for the sequel title contest, it would make me happy, because I like giving stuff to people.

What would you wish for?


Kelly Polark said...

ARgh. I got sunburn yesterday too. Put lots of moisturizer on!

storyqueen said...

I'd like a laptop blower, too. Can I have Orlando Bloom, please? (I mean, since we're asking and all...)

Christine Fonseca said...

oohh...storyqueen, I'm with you!

Jamie Eyberg said...

Your blog is too family friendly for my wishes.:o Hope your face skin doesn't do a swan song before your pictures.

K. M. Walton said...

An agent. That's what I wish for. A nice, happy, super enthusiastic human being who is completely gaga for my books.

That and to lose my baby weight, since my boys are 13 and 9 YEARS old.

Anonymous said...

I would like to do THIS, preferably with Ted Nugent as my pilot.

[For any of your readers that are unfamiliar with the Dillon mini gun, here's a section from Mythbusters that shows its capabilities. While we're on the topic of wishes, those two dudes can leave, Kari Byron and myself can take care of the rest. No no, leave the mini gun.....]

I've posted this on Tiny T's blog, but it bears repeating. I want THIS to be my funeral. I am completely serious. Put me on a pyre with a bottle of Jameson, some sage, and SEVERAL highly pressurized tanks filled with explosives, and let everyone who cares about me go nuts with the biggest guns they can get their hands on. (I'd say put a rifle up there with me too, but I wouldn't want to destroy a perfectly good rifle. Hmm, GREAT, NOW I need a funeral rifle) I want 'em to hear me comin'.

Oh, and grenades. For some reason I've always wanted grenades.

What can I say, I'm a man of simple tastes.

Lacey J Edwards said...

I love the sequel title contest, but I'm just not that funny. Lol!

And I bet Simmons has good lungs.

Tere Kirkland said...

Getting lots of laughs out of your contest, but it's just not my forte.

Hey, if everyone's calling dibs on laptop blowers now, I get Zachary Quinto! ;)

Carolyn V. said...

Just a little more hope today, that would be awesome! =)

Unknown said...

peace of mind...definitely!

PJ Hoover said...

I am going to do a facial mask tomorrow! What fun.
I wish to go read in bed. And I think I will!

Keri Mikulski said...

I'm cracking up.. picturing Richard Simmons blowing on your laptop during revisions. :) hugs.

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

i think you know :)

Anonymous said...

Forgot to add:

- If I needed a laptop blower, I think I'd pick Kenny G, both because he could theoretically do it constantly, since he can breathe in and out simultaneously, and so I could punch him whenever I felt like it. Which would likely be often.

- You having to blow out your laptop made me think of having to blow out nintendo cartridges, and I hope you're not heading down a dark path.

- While looking for that video, I found this one. Mario 3 certainly was a bad ass game, but somehow I don't think it affected my life like it did this dude's. Cool beans for him, though.