Answers (A post in which I resist the urge to use 42)

You asked yesterday, and I answer! Because that's how it works: question, answer; question, answer. If you gave me the answer and I gave you the question, that would be Jeopardy.

Hmmmm. I think we might need to do that next time.

Anyway, Jamie wants to know my favorite brand of peanut butter. I'm a little perplexed by this. Actually, I'm a little perplexed by any question for which I cannot answer 'zombies.' I mean, I could, but it wouldn't really make any sense, and I am all about making sense.

Why are you laughing?

Barry is eager to learn whether zombie Tony the Tiger or zombie Rainbow Brite is more frightening. Now this is my kind of question. I suspect that zombie Rainbow Brite is scarier, but I am not certain. I do however know that the ultimate in fear is this:




EEK! It's a zombietubby!

Cate wants to know if I've ever thought of running a zombie exercise class. Why yes, Cate, I've thought about this quite a lot but eventually decided against it. See, when I taught aerobics, I taught WATER aerobics. I'm not entirely sure, but I think there might be a problem if we all started doing froggie jumps and someone's leg fell off and started floating around in the pool. I mean, I remember what it was like the one time that kid went doo-doo in the water, and I can't imagine that a severed limb would have a better reaction.

Kiersten wants to know how awesome a publishing company run by the two of us would be. It would of course be a seven hundred on a 1-10 scale of awesomeness. In fact, I predict that if Kiersten and I start a publishing company, Richard Simmons will become our mascot, and we will all cowrite the Zombie version of Sweating to the Oldies. And all of you will become rich.

I am so glad I proofread this before I posted it. Because it originally said that you will all become Rick. I know a guy named Rick. He calls me Trippy. I like him, but I don't think you all want to be him.

Kelly asked one that kinda made me think, but I don't hold it against her. She wants to know my favorite horror film and one that I hated. Can I have two favorites? Because Shaun of the Dead and Fright Night II are tied for first place. One has zombie acting lessons and the other has rollerskating vampires. I cannot choose between these two paragons of awesomeness. My least favorites are all those horror porns where there's so much gore that you begin to fear that the world will soon experience a severe shortage of red tinted corn syrup.

Kasie is curious to know about my potato fixation. I have never met a potato I didn't like. Not like I've been introduced to many potatoes in my lifetime, but really, I am non-prejudicial when it comes to tubers.

Horror Girl, aka Samantha, wants to know what I think about when I wake up in the morning. Unfortunately, I am not a morning person. I've actually been thinking that I should put a tape recorder next to the bed, because I would probably come up with some good entries for the zombie dictionary I keep talking about. For example. this morning, I said something like, "Haaargnnnnhh." Which translates to "I dreamt about zombie chipmunks last night."

I did. Dream of them, I mean.

Shelli wants to know my middle name. It's Ann. And yes, my full name is Carrie rather than Caroline, and the book came out right around the time I was born. I heard a lot about that when I went to prom, and my proms were indeed cursed. At the first one, my date ended up being the prom king, and the queen was his date from the year before. At the second, my best friend confessed his love for me. Unrequited. At the third, my boyfriend broke up with me the morning before, but we went anyway and he totalled the car. We were dropped off at prom in a police cruiser. At the fourth, my boyfriend went around popping all of the balloons with the pin from my corsage.

Keri asks if I listen to music when I write. Yes, I do, but it's all in my HEAD. I walk around with my own personal soundtrack playing in my brain. Right now, it's playing this:



I have an insane love for this song. I used to put it on all my romantic mix tapes.

And Danyelle, if I could have a superpower, it would be the power to play that mental soundtrack out loud so the rest of you would have to listen to it too. Does that make me a supervillain?

Them's a lot of answers, but the one answer I don't have for today is who wins the prize for the Zom Com Contest. I gave myself until tomorrow, and that's a good thing because there were WAY too many deserving entries.