Friday, July 31, 2009

No More Answers

It's the last day of the Week of Answers. Does this mean there will be no answers in the world next week? I sure hope not. A million angry college students in summer classes will be out for my blood if that happens.

Anyway, the remaining questions are pretty short, so let's get to 'em!

The lovely Danyelle asks:
Why do early mornings exist?

Quite simply, I suspect that they exist to piss me off. Not that the world is all about ME, of course, because I know early mornings piss other people off too. In fact, I think we need an Early Mornings Piss Me Off Society (EMP-MOS).

If the world was run by me, everyone would stay up really late and sleep in until about 10:00. We would also have Zombie Dress Up Day at local schools. Because really? Backwards Day? Boring. Inside Out Day? Yawnsville. Zombie Dress Up Day? Made of awesome.

And that's my platform to rule the world. No early mornings, dress up like zombies any time you want. Doesn't that make you want to vote for me?

What's your favorite flavor of jelly bean?

Chicken and telephone.

Bonus points and my eternal respect if you know where that comes from. Unless you only know it because I told you, in which case I'm just happy that you actually listened.

Super-kind KM Walton asks:
Are you a Summer or Winter?

Oh god. Is this a makeup question? Because if it's a makeup question, I am NOT the girl to ask. I belong to the Boy George School of Makeup application. I just slop that stuff on there.

Or maybe it's just a season question, in which case I like summer because it's HAWT, and I just like the opportunity to write HAWT (always capital letters, people) as much as possible. Or maybe it's a fairy question, because a lot of fairy myths have summer fae and winter fae, and the winter fae are all naughty and the summer fae are all naughty but look prettier when they do it. I am summer fae, unless I've applied some makeup in which case I am winter fae.

Enjoy the weekend!


Anonymous said...

I hate the summer because it is too HAWT.

there's not an equivalent for hawt is there? for the winter times? instead we have "cold." you can't awt cold like you can hot. cawt? cawd?

lame. a word should be created!

Stephanie Faris said...

You're hilarious. See, THIS is why I don't like to answer questions like this. I never can come up with creative answers as you did!

Mariah Irvin said...

I think if the world was run by you I would request to wake up at noon, instead of ten. I promise I would wake up in full zombie dress up day gear.

Susan R. Mills said...

Where do I sign up for EMP-MOSS?

Carrie Harris said...

HG: Yeah, the only equivalent I can come up with is "coo." As in: "Man, you so coo."

Somehow it doesn't work for me.

Stephanie: Maybe I should start selling my smart alec answers and see if I can't make a few bucks. ;)

Mariah: That better be some good zombie gear, girl.

LW: Right here! You want to be the Treasurer or something?

K.C. Shaw said...

You owe me a new knuckle, because I had to bite one of mine really hard here at work to keep from snorting out loud when I read that about the summer fae and the winter fae.

Actually, it was worth the knuckle.

storyqueen said...

I hate to inform you of this, Spockette, but early mornings exist because *I* like them. It is the only time the house is quiet. It is my special time....just me and the dog........

So, hate to burst your bubble, but the whole pissing you off thing, well, that's not the sole purpose of the early's just an added benefit!! (hehehe)

Of course, once school starts and I have to wake people up, feed them, pack lunches (which I HATE) and get my own butt to work, I'll probably have to join your camp.


Fox Lee said...

Early mornings exist to let you know night is over, and it is time to go to bed.

K. M. Walton said...

Two things, first, you called me super-kind, which is super cool. I even called my husband over so he could see that I made it into Carrie's blog. He knows who you are because I am always saying, "Honey, listen to this..." And then, I read whatever bit of funny you've provided for us readers that day.

Two, and this is even more imporant than you clalling me super-kind...does my question qualify me to be a part of your
Super Secret Order? Because if we're all being honest here, that's like, super important.

p.s. Speaking to your unlike of makeup, I loathe putting on eye makeup and end up using colorful words in a loud manner during the application of the ______'ing mascara.

Suzanne Casamento said...

YOU are HAWT. And hilarious.

Lina said...

I like getting up in the morning! Does that mean I would be banned from the world if you were ruler? I like the idea of Zobie dress uo thou. Can we have a magical creatures dress up to were we can dress up as any kind of creature. Much like Halloween but more often!

Sherrie Petersen said...

I like summer because the children wear themselves out during the day and sleep in every morning. YES! Because I am a #@$! all day if I am awakened too early and it's HAWT.

So I am totally in favor of you running the world. Your platform is perfect for me. Besides, the zombies are already in charge. Just imagine if YOU could control them =)

Carrie Harris said...

KC: Maybe I should start including replacement knuckles in my prize packs. ;)

Storyqueen: It's okay. I'll wait. You'll be assimilated eventually.

Love, Spockette.

Natalie: I would totally do that if I didn't have kids that insist on being awake when it's daylight.

KM: You ARE super-kind. And now I have warm fuzzies because I'm semi-infamous in the Walton household.

And yeah, I guess you do qualify for the Super Secret Order. I hadn't thought about it, but yeah!

Suzanne: No, YOU'RE HAWT.

Pretend we get into one of those fake arguments right here where we both keep calling the other person HAWT.

Wow, that was fun.

Lina: No, you won't be banned. But you may have a problem because nothing will be open early in the morning when I rule the universe. Sorry about that.

Sherrie: So what you're saying is that I had you at HAWT? It's like a Jerry Maguire moment, only not really.