Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Most Awesome Question in the World

Just in case you missed it, a little more than a week ago, I put out a general call for questions. I like to answer questions. It makes me feel like I'm on a game show, and I might win something. I like winning things too.

One time, I won a little statue of a skeleton in a chicken costume. And really, it doesn't get much better than that.

Anyway, I received the question to end all questions. The Question of Awesome. I'm inducting ElanaJ into the Semi-Secret Order of the Blog Ninja just by virtue of the sheer awesomeness that is this question. Do I have you intrigued? Here's the question:
Okay. Let's say you were marooned on a desert island. You hike around a little, only to spot Edward and Bella in the top of a tree. After shielding your eyes against the dazzling sheen from his skin in the sunlight, you move on, totally over THAT.

From your position on top of a hill (yes, you climbed it) you spot a colony of zombies. They're all sleeping because it's daytime, but you know they're zombies. They have brains lying by the fire.

You decide to head back to the beach, thinking that the more distance between you and zombieville, the better. You spot Tinky Winky peeking at you from behind a tree. Afraid to even go there you sprint back to the beach, where somehow, they're all waiting for you.

Edward (sans Bella, thank goodness).
The zombie clan leader, somehow protected from the sun with a tin foil blanket.
And Tinky Winky.

You can choose one of them to help you get off the island. Or for life-long companionship. Or whatever.

Who do you choose? And why??

First, let's take a moment to appreciate the sheer awesomeness of this question. Elana, clearly, GETS me. Frankly, I'm thinking that she ought to be my official interviewer, because really, I can answer questions like, "Where do you get your ideas?" and such, but I really excel at choosing between survival via sparkly vampire, zombie in tin foil blanket, and Teletubby. It's just how I roll.

But what about me? Don't I get to be on the island?

Richard! Um, no, the question asks about vampires, zombies, and Teletubbies. You're not in this question.

But I have skills! Look, I can put my leg behind my head.

You're the spokesperson of my blog. Who's going to maintain my blog while I'm marooned? And besides, putting your leg behind your head isn't a survival skill.

It is too a survival skill.

I do not want to know. I'm not going to ask.

Who am I kidding? Of course I'm going to ask. How on earth is putting your leg behind your head a survival skill?

If your leg was possessed, you could put it behind your head for safekeeping. I'm speaking theoretically, of course. That's never happened to me. Never.

Your leg was possessed?

Um, no. What gave you that idea?

Just a hunch.

Okay, we're totally off topic here. If I was marooned on a desert island, I would send a telepathic message to Richard to take care of the Wonder That Is My Blog, and to Batman to tell him to beware his evil possessed leg. And then I would ask Edward to steal the tin foil blanket and kill the Teletubby and the zombies, because the Teletubby would drive me nuts, and the zombie would eventually start to stink.

Besides, Edward sparkles. And everyone knows that sparkles are an essential part of every survival kit.

I can't disagree with that.


MeganRebekah said...

Loves it!

Jamie Eyberg said...

I would still pay to see that MMA fight.

lisa and laura said...

Ok, you need to know that I've met Richard Simmons THREE TIMES. Once in LA and twice in Cleveland. Random, right?

And that last picture? Perfect. He really does SPARKLE!

Anonymous said...

Love the stream of consciousness writing and humor!
Thanks for sharing Carrie.
All the best,

Mariah Irvin said...


You would eventually have to off Bella though, because THAT would get annoying.

Eileen Astels Watson said...

Okay, Carrie, you definitely have a way of adding word count to your answers.

P.S. I would have picked Edward too!

Kelly Polark said...

Ohhhhh, a sparkly Richard Simmons!

Rebecca L Sutton said...

Too funny, and yes that is a killer question Elana! I too met the great Richard Simmons on a flight from LA. The airline people even let him do the announcements to board the flight!

I totally pick Edward too...

Tiny T said...

Snarf! That's all I've got.

Brigitte said...


Teletubbies barely speak
I'd pick Tinky Winky.

The only reason I would pick Edward would be to smack him afterward.

Natalie Whipple said...

That is one glorious question.

Sherrie Petersen said...

Dude, I can't believe the zombies aren't after your glorious brain. They must LOVE the twists and turns that can only be found in your brain!

Susan R. Mills said...

Great question and equally great answer!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Ah! simply hilarious! do continue. Now that you've got Edward and killed the zombies, are you getting off the island, or forming a life-long relationship? (um...w/out Bella?)

PJ Hoover said...

Sweet question and sweet answer!

K.C. Shaw said...

That is the best question ever! And a darn good answer. Sounds like you're prepared for that island trip.

I just want to know if the skeleton in a chicken suit was a chicken skeleton or a person skeleton.

Natalie said...

I am so impressed with your interview skills. I must take notes.

Stephanie McGee said...

Most excellent post! Great question from Elana, too. Hmmm...I think I'd have to agree with your decision on this one.

Fox Lee said...

Richard crotch!

Sandra Leigh said...

I was doing okay, hardly laughing until I cried at all, until I read Natalie's comment. Now look what you've done.