Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What I'm Working On, and More Richard

Okay. I'm slightly calmed down now, mostly due to the fact that my arms hurt. Two straight days of hysterical hand flapping would be enough to make Swarzenegger tired. And I'm talking old school, muscles like giant mutant rutabegas Swarzenegger. So I had to stop.

But mentally? I'm still flapping.

I've had some requests for my road to publication story, which is a stirring saga full of zombie impersonations, a broken foot, and gallons upon gallons of Diet Dr. Pepper. I promise to deliver that soon, but I also owe you all some answers. Because you ask the questions, and then I answer.

I'm kinda unique that way.

Some of the questions seem to be particularly applicable right now, so let me get them out of the way.

RK Charron wants to know what I'm working on right now.

Well. I am insane. And--

You're not insane. You are awesome! You wear sparkly shorts!

Yes, but we're not talking about sparkly--

Leave her alone.

Go away, you unibrowed freak! This is my territory! PBBBT!!

Uh... Batman?

Sorry. Um... Apparently, Batman can take out a million jillion bad guys, but he has a phobia of spit. Or maybe just Richard Simmons spit.

That's because I'm like Chuck Norris. My spit eats through metal. And my shorts are magic.

I'm not going to reply to that.

So now that I totally forgot what I was saying...

Oh yeah! I'm working on two books right now. One is a sequel to No Pain, No Gain. (Mental hand flap!) The other? Demon fighting rollergirls. So now you know.


Michelle D. Argyle said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning, Carrie. Sparkly shorts rock. :D

Jamie Eyberg said...

I would pay to see that UFC fight between Simmons and the caped crusader.

MeganRebekah said...

Demon fighting rollergirls are my type of people. Where do I sign up?

Tabitha said...

Only on your blog could Batman be defeated by Richard Simmons. :)

Can't wait to read about the Demon fighting rollergirls. There aren't enough stories about rollergirls. :)

CONGRATULATIONS again! I'm so excited for you!!!

Lisa Aldin said...

HA! I never thought I would see the day when Richard Simmons and Batman would argue...

Anonymous said...

Thanks for a fun post!
Love & Best Wishes,

Laura Eno said...

Demon fighting sparkly shorts?

Mariah Irvin said...

I feel bad for Richard's dentist.

Natalie Whipple said...

Richard better be careful, that unibrow is deadly.

And you better be working on that sequel, missy. You totally let me hanging!

CKHB said...

Please tell me you've seen the Richard Simmons guest spot on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

If you haven't, tell me and I will find the link and bring it to you, because it is the best thing since Christian Bale (and I like me some Christian Bale).

Fox Lee said...

Go Richard, go!

Cate Gardner said...

Demon Fighting Rollergirls for the win.

Carrie Harris said...

Glamis: Wear sparkly shorts! Support Team Carrie!

Jamie: I'd be right there in the front row with you. In all my sparkly regalia.

Megan: Yeah, I admit: I just want to be a demon fighting rollergirl. Because that's KEWL!

Tabitha: Yes, my blog is its own reality with a completely different set of rules, isn't it? And THANK YOU!

Lisa: Actually, I hear that they've got quite the rivalry going on...

RK: Thanks for submitting a question!

Laura: OH! I totally have to put sparkly shorts in there. I haven't done that yet. Thanks for the idea!

Mariah: Luckily, Richard's teeth are made of adamantium.

Natalie: Yeah, but Richard has adamantium teeth and acid spit. That's tough for a unibrow to defeat. And I'm working on it!

CKHB: It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I linked it to the blog way back in the day. I might have to resurrect it.

Natalie S: So what you're saying is that you're Team Richard and not Team Batman?

Cate: Somehow, I knew you'd like that.

Elana Johnson said...

I'm with Jamie. I would totally pay to see a showdown with the Caped Crusader and Mr. Simmons himself. Can you photoshop that for us? ;-)

Kelly Polark said...

1. Congrats again!!!
2. You really need to send your book to Richard Simmons with a link to your blog. I truly think he would enjoy your support of him and humor! :)
3. Demon fighting rollergirls!!!! Too cool!

Fox Lee said...

If forced to choose, I would choose Richard Simmons.