Monday, July 27, 2009

Answers with Zombies

You asked the Questions, now it's time for some Answers (with Zombies). Kind of like Dances with Wolves, only not really.

The Ey, otherwise known as Jamie, asks:
Who did come up with the 24 hour day? What sense does that make?

Well. There's this thing called Universal Coordinated Time, which of course was invented by The Universe. Yes, the same Universe that sends me emails and has failed to make me rich even though I have sent it loads of bonus ninjas and grass. I'm thinking that I don't have enough sparkles in my books, so here is a teaser from my current WIP:
"I've been sparkling for you," he said sparklingly, the words sending a sparkly shiver down her (you guessed it) sparkly spine.

And then, his sparkling eyes caught fire. Sparklingly.

Best seller, bay-bee.

And then there's The Whit Bra. She asked all this:
I am going to leave all my comments without using the.

What was first thing you noticed about Slayer that you liked?

Slayer and I met while playing Ultimate Frisbee. My friend spent weeks talking about how she wanted to use his ass as an end table.

Not kidding.

And no, I don't know what that means.

But yes, I'm putting it in a book anyway.
When did you decide he was One?

Ummm... one what? A complete lunatic? The kind of guy who will brainstorm enema of the week programs with me? A man who can talk some serious smack about American Idol and actually render it amusing?

The perfect man to father my children so we can take over the world!?!?!

Ahem. Sorry.

Actually, the reality is pretty boring. I woke up one morning and said, "You know, I'm going to move in with him." And I told him and he said, "Okay."

Maybe if you imagine violins playing in the background, it'll be more interesting. Especially if the violins are being played by zombies.
What made you decide to write for young adults?

Well, this might have something to do with the fact that I have the sense of humor of a 14 year old, but maybe not. Mostly, I write for teens because of something Slayer said to me once. He said that he'd never liked reading before. All the stuff he was forced to read was boring, so he pretty much stopped reading until I started feeding him books that I knew he'd like. This was right after the birth of my twins, and I thought, man, there's no way I want that to happen to my kids.

And here's the thing: it's the kind of thing I love to read. (Gasp!) I was trying to write all of this serious stuff. The kind of books read by people sitting in coffee houses and wearing berets while they smoke clove cigarettes. And you all know that I am NOT a clove-cigarette-and-beret kind of girl.

So it all kind of came together, and I've got the two best jobs in the world. Mother to three zombie-tag-playing children, and YA author.

Wow. That was all serious. Bring on the zombie kickline.

And finally,


I have no answer to this. Frankly, I have written a lot of emails to The Universe asking the very same question. What crap, Universe? What crap?

More answers later.


Unknown said...

Ass end tables.

It is much to early to snarf, but I will anyway!!!

Kelly Polark said...

I enjoy books that amuse as well!

Kiersten White said...

What crap indeed. Still, I enjoyed your answers : )

The zombies were trying to play Viva la Vida on their violins whilst I imagined it, and it didn't turn out well.

Natalie Whipple said...

You trying to write serious stuff? Teehee. I can just imagine you musing in a cafe somewhere with that berret and...wait, no I can't.

I tried that too, once upon a time. Now I laugh about it. I'm sticking with ninjas and cyborgs, thank you.

Mariah Irvin said...

Hooray for YA writing! And zombies, of course.

~Jamie said...

haha I did that serious thing too... and everyone said... dude your character talks like she's fifteen... I was all, "Um, but that's how I talk, k?"

They were all, "Um, you talk like you're fifteen then..."

So I was all... "Huh, then I better write books for fifteen year olds."


Christina Farley said...

I think you've hit your niche writing for teens.

K.C. Shaw said...

The Universe doesn't answer my emails either. As far as I'm concerned, the Universe is obviously a world-class jerk.

Sherrie Petersen said...

Okay, I was totally the same way trying to be a "serious" author and sucking miserably. And then I started reading MG fantasy books with my son and thinking they were brilliant. It was like a light clicked on. THIS is what I should be writing! THIS is what made me love to read as a child!

Sorry, I should have done that without using "the" or couched it on Slayer's end table. Hmm...