I don't know why I like giving people nicknames so much, but I do. In fact, I distinctly remember hanging around the dorm one night in college, slowly and methodically nicknaming everyone I knew. And the worst part of it is that a bunch of people hung out with me and watched.
If I would have known it was so interesting, I would have sold tickets.
The best part is coming up with that perfect cockeyed combination of words and images. We're not talking cutesy poo nicknames like Honey Bear and Pootie Pie. I'm talking semi-snarfy nicknames like Slayer (which is really only snarfy if you know that my husband is a doctor and then you picture a nurse paging Dr. Slayer over the intercom) and The Electric Lovitz. I'm particularly proud of that one. I want to use it as a band name in a book some day.
But the problem with nicknames is that it takes a lot of hard work to develop a good one, so I'm now using a formula. Said formula is simple: I take 'the' and the first few letters of the person's last name. For example, you can hereby refer to me as The Harr.
The Harr, she is so kewl.
I've found a lot of cases in which this naming system works really well. There's The Whip, The Whit, and The Perk. There's my awesome agent, The Test. One of my personal favorites is The Ey, said in a pseudo-Elvis voice. Or maybe it's more like the Fonz. Or the love child of Elvis and The Fonz.
Something tells me Jamie doesn't like that nickname any more.
And then there are instances in which this system fails utterly. For instance, there's The Po. I am so sorry, Aaron. I just mistakenly named you after a Teletubby. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me some day.
So do you know of any other names that come out really wonky using this method? I want to hear them.
I would be The St.
Saintly indeed. Or you know. not.
I've never had a nickname before. Although a lot of people have called me Jim. the Ey can work.
Not sure if it's wonky or not but I would be The Pow. Sounds like a comicbook villain from the sixites.
The Gard - nah!
Oh dear. I'm either a teletubby or something a stripper dances upon.
Wow, it sounds like a cat barfing on the carpet.
I still say you should have used my married name so I could be The Bra. Now I'll just have to be a rapper to use it, and go by K-Bra.
The John...? Yeah, no one wants to hang out in The John. LOL!
Nope. I don't want to be the Thom.....just lame.....and I don't want the first few letters of my maiden/middle name either: the Moo. I guess I'll settle for the Quee.
Naw. It's lame too.
I only have one syllable. So I guess I'm The Sh? Or The Sha? Because The Shaw makes me sound like I think I'm, like, Robert Shaw or somebody important. I'd better stick with The Sh, mojo librarian style.
I get the greatest word verifications on your blog, incidentally. Today's is hypiness, seriously.
I loved college nicknames. They were the best!
Growing up I guess I would have been The Jed but now I'd be The Hoov.
I would be the Mac. Which is what my kids at school call me. Mrs. Mac. But that's because the first graders didn't have any front teeth and couldn't say MacFarlane...
They're all dorky.
Hmm...The Davi doesn't seem to make sense. I was once labeled Big John at my dad's job sites as I was crapped on by a seagull and peed on by a dog within a week...
I'd be the Lea. Makes me think of the ocean or a mountain. Or possibly a mountain of oceans. ;-)
I'm The Yard. What, really? Or my maiden name would be The Murd.
The Ha. :D "Hi, I'm The Ha! Ha ha ha ha..." That would be strangely creepy to greet people while laughing ALL the time.
However, that is WAY better than greeting people as The Ham. Really?
Heya mind sis... we have a small situation...
How can you be The Harr when I am OBVIOUSLY The Harr :)
as a side note... when your YA superhero novel and my YA superhero novel are both on the shelves... WE ARE GOING TO BE ON THE SAME SHELF!!!!!
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